THE BIGGEST OF DECISIONS
When I was 12 I faced the biggest of decisions:
In a school band rehearsal, my friend Ste asked “Jay, why don’t you play the drums instead… we don’t need a keyboard player…“
This doesn’t answer how I arrive at big decisions but I can tell you that at the time, there wasn’t a single part of me that said ‘No’.
At that moment, it was as obvious to me as the feeling that I needed to eat or sleep. It was a full-body YES.
A life lesson I’ve learned about important decisions is to look for these whole-body YES’ when presented with opportunities.
Not every decision that comes your way needs you to agree to it. So how do you successfully separate the YES’ from the NO’s…
This is what to listen for… when you’re presented with a decision, does your entire body respond positively? Is there an immediate ‘YES’… or do you hesitate…
Think about the last time you had a whole body ‘YES’ – something for which you didn’t hesitate to commit to for a moment. This can be a big decision or a small one, it doesn’t matter. What matters is the feeling it brings forth. There’s an energy in your body, a way you feel when something is an obvious ‘YES’.
It might be a feeling of energy rushing to a part of your body. An inner excitement. An itch to get started.
FEEL this thing. Identify where you can feel it in your body and remember that feeling. Associate it with the ‘YES’
THIS feeling is what to look for!
Decisions like this are the easiest to identify because they evoke such a strong and obvious feeling within your body.
NO
The same happens with decisions that are a “NO”, only it can be more difficult for us to say no to things. Especially when they’re masked as opportunities, or if by saying no, you risk disappointing someone.
An example of this from my world is that I get asked fairly often about doing 1-on-1 lessons.
For example, I’m in a conversation with someone new and they ask “…out of curiosity… do you offer 1-on-1 drum lessons…”
Almost every time, I have to catch myself before I jump straight into a ‘YES’ to please this person.
The true answer is ‘YES, but…’ as I do occasionally host 1-on-1 sessions with my Masterclass students, but I’ve moved away from the format of 1-on-1 drum lessons for the most part, as the best material I have already exists! I’ve made it, and it’s called the Progressive Drumming Masterclass.
Historically, in 99% of my 1-on-1 sessions, I’m simply repeating the lessons and exercises from the Masterclass curriculum, and that’s a waste of everyone’s time.
Assuming for a moment you’re in an up-and-coming band…
An example from your world might be the opportunity for your band to buy onto a tour.
On the surface, it seems like a great situation! This bigger band is going out on tour and by paying them $20,000 you can open the tour each night.
Allow me to express why, to me, this is a NO.
If you need to pay for the opportunity to perform at this level, you’re probably not ready for it…
You learn a lot about how to perform, and how to be a band by organically building your project up to the level where you’re playing to 1000, 1500, 2500+ people per night at a headline show.
Bypassing these lessons and instead, paying for the headliner’s tour bus for a few days, for an up-close glimpse of their success would be a business decision I’d decline. Note: TesseracT doesn’t offer this and has never bought onto a tour.
There’s also a reasonably high likelihood that you’ll be playing to a 1/4 or 1/2-full room if you’re opening the show… which sucks.
Should I go to music school?
Another example of a high-stakes decision that might apply to more people…
Should I go to music school or not… This is a BIG one. It’s super conflicting because you have your life plan to be a comprehensive musician…. right? You see yourself on stage, performing to large crowds each night. And this being the thing you do for your career.
The path to this goal is undoubtedly varied but attending a reputable school seems like a good bet…
Ask yourself this question: Is this true?
Can you know, 100%, that attending a high-end music school will put you where you want or need to be?
“No”
You can’t know this 100%.
You might even feel this ‘NO’ in your body. Maybe you feel pressure somewhere. But your short-term alternative to going to one of these schools is simply too painful: getting a crappy job.
So your body tries to force a ‘YES’.
Pay attention to what this feels like, as this is a quiet ‘NO’.
Where in your body do you feel this? Try to recall a moment in your life when you had one of these quiet “NO’s”. Focus your attention on that feeling.
Develop a superpower…
Becoming familiar with these feelings is a superpower. It enables you to strategically decline moves that don’t serve you, and accept ones that fill you with life.
Going back to the example of music school – I experienced this ‘quiet NO’ myself.
After high school, I applied to Drum Tech in Acton, London – a reputable music school. I couldn’t read music notation, so I failed the entry exam.
I realised on the way home from the audition that this wasn’t the right path for me… I’d only gone to this audition to keep playing music all day every day, instead of confronting the pain of getting a basic job that I risked being stuck in forever…
I ended up getting that basic job working as an Admin Assistant in an office. This afforded me the option to keep investing in my drumming abilities.
It bought me a nice drum kit, cymbals, and the technology to record my ideas. It paid for my rehearsal spot 24/7 where my kit was permanently set up. I had owned all of the things I needed to pursue my desired career in music, without the debt of music school. Plus I did it all on my terms – which for me is a much better way to explore my creative abilities.
Disclaimer
I’m not attempting to dump on all music schools – they of course serve their purpose for some musicians. They allow you to network at an early stage in your career. They can also help you define a huge chunk of time in which to practice. This can be tricky for some people.
But if your goal is to play in an original band, and for that band to become the main thing that you do for a living – a qualification from an expensive music school isn’t required. No one is going to ask to see your school certificate before letting you in for an audition or bringing you up on stage. All that matters are your demonstratable creative abilities and you as a person.
Are you a good person and are you happy with your skills?
When you’re in a good place with these two things, you set yourself up for the best possible outcomes.
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